First of all, thanks for everyone including Jin for having a wonderful time studying and discussing together in the first module. Hope we can continue this in the next module.
I really appreciate the improvement I achieved in my final draft. I did really bad in diagnostic test and I got a terrible score. Therefore, I pushed myself concentrating on the lessons which would be really helpful for my writing, and trying my best to complete each practice and assignment. I leant a lot this time. Comparing my final draft with my first draft, there are so many amazing differences between them. Firstly, the structures of the assays are different. In my first draft, I only have two body paragraphs but contains more than all three main points I made in the final drafts, so the logic of the first draft was kind of messy. I didn’t give much explanation for each point and did not link them, either. However, in the final draft, I revised the structure that I analyzed the logic of my assay and summarized them in to three independent main points. I also reread the reading to find out the supporting materials which were really useful and persuasive for my points. For the thesis statement, I did not know that a complete thesis statement should give not only topic and opinion but also all the main points. I only have a one-sentenced conclusion and an excusive introduction, which I improved a lot both in structure and logic after the lesson about these two parts. In general, my final draft is totally a different assay compare to the initial one. In addition, my hundreds of silly grammar mistakes in the initial assay also have been corrected in the final draft.
Since I am preparing the application for scholarship in my major these days, the lessons really helped me to write my personal statements. To begin with, I tried to figure out what the benefits the reward would bring to me and how many points I should mention in my statements. Then I tried to find out persuasive reasons and illustrations for each point and made my main paragraphs in a PIE structure. It is kind of different from what we write in class, but there are still some similar things and the knowledge from the class helps me to express my opinion structured and clearly.
Krisa Mie 